I love birthdays. I love my birthday. I love celebrating my life in all its glory and ignominy. It is the time I am most in love with my place: reminiscing about lives lived and forecasting futures to be realized.
Anticipation of this year felt big. Many pieces fell serendipitously into place. It started with a birthday of someone who's connection to me supercedes the limits of this lifetime. And then- through an algorithm of mutual friends and popular keywords, Oliver's therapeutic flight course dropped onto my screen. I booked my flight an hour later.
My last day in Chiang Mai, I met this gorgeous woman, Kathi. I told her of my extended journey to get back home: CM to Bangkok overnight and a half day in Hanoi before arriving home two days after the whole process had begun. She said that sometimes, this is a better way. Upon returning, it's important to allow more than your body to transition. Your heart needs time to transition as well.
She was right.
Tucked away in a corner of Noi Bai Airport, there is no laundry to get done. There are no friends to meet. There are no dogs to walk. There are no groceries to buy. There is no routine to reestablish. There is just time to digest what all has come to pass over the last four weeks and space to let my heart make its way back home.
The journey began on Koh Lanta feeling obligated to take advantage of Thailand's famous beaches. I am not a beach person. Whether a 10 minute bike ride or two time zones away, I will never feel that sense of euphoria watching the waves crash along the beach staring into the vastness of something much more powerful than me. I will, however, get excited to meet people as excited about movement as I am. My hunt for a drink led to Noli and Debbie. We traded silks for acroyoga and the shared enthusiasm and excitement about sharing our knowledge and pulling from someone else's was delicious.
For phase II, the operation moved north to Chiang Mai for therapeutic flying training where I was reunited with the amazingly talented Joanna Tambakis.
Therapeutic flight was fun in spite of my unrelenting inclination to be a tight-ass. Oliver created a space that was equal parts playful, inquisitive,
Thailand was amazing and hard and inspiring and unexpectedly intimate. I was nose to nose with my own inhibitions, past disappointments, and the illumination of the template of me that is more set that I ever could have imagined. I found myself vacillating between hard questions and breezy humor in company as dynamic as it was diverse. What is the take away? I'm still working to articulate it. More than the right words, I am allowing myself to settle the space that requires no explanations to qualify it.